


Game Over

by GoldenSlumbers



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 12, Teen Angst, Zaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 06:17:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenSlumbers/pseuds/GoldenSlumbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maya and Zig are tired of hurting other people, so they hurt each other instead. But there's nothing heroic about being a martyr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game Over

The phone rings, and it's her. She's breathless before she speaks. "I don't know what to do. I must've texted her a hundred times. She won't write back. She won't return my calls, she won't talk to me—"

"She can't stay mad forever."

"She hates me! And now Tristan's ignoring me too."

Zig sighs. He can picture her, if he closes his eyes. He sees her pacing around her bedroom, twisting a lock of hair around one finger.

"It's all your fault," she says.

"I know," he says.

"She was my best friend, and she's never going to forgive me. I lost my best friend."

He shouldn't say it, but he does anyway. He can't help himself. "You still have me."

She sounds angry now. "You just don't get it, do you? You don't even care."

"I do."

"I have to go," she says, and she's gone.

He hates when she calls.

\--

They're supposed to be practicing, but everyone is running late, as usual. It never used to bother them. They could have jam sessions, just the two of them in their own musical haven. But that was back when things were normal.

"Where the hell could they be?" Maya sounds more irritated than ever. She never used to swear.

Zig passively tunes his guitar strings for maybe the fifteenth time. "I'm sure it won't be much longer." He notices her looking at her watch. "Going somewhere?"

Maya shrugs, not looking at him. "It's fine. I have an hour still."

He doesn't want to know, so he doesn't ask. He keeps tuning.

"Cam's taking me out to dinner," she says. He can feel her eyes boring into him, but he doesn't dare look up.

"That's cool," he says.

"For our anniversary. Two months."

She's staring at him. He can feel it. She's waiting for a reaction.

"Congratulations," he says finally, lifting his eyes to meet her gaze. "I'm glad you're happy."

"I _am_ happy," she says. It's unclear which one of them she's trying to convince.

He doesn't say anything, and strums the guitar. All the chords are out of tune. He sighs, and starts again.

He'll get over her, he thinks. Eventually.

\--

Days go by with minimal contact, and then he sees her sitting alone in the zen garden. He debates walking past. Wave, say nothing, and keep walking. It's the only way to move on.

Except she's calling his name, and his legs move automatically in her direction. She's always doing this. Pulling him in.

"Hey," he says. He resists the urge to sit down beside her.

"Hey." There's a pause, and then she says, "I hate this." It could mean any number of things.

He sits.

"I hate when he leaves," she clarifies.

Zig swallows hard. It's about Cam. Of course. It always is.

Maya waves her hand, gesturing vaguely to the distance. "The whole team took off, somewhere, for semi-finals. All weekend. And if they win, they'll be gone next weekend, too."

He doesn't know what to say. It seems so pointless. "It's just a weekend, Maya. Maybe two. It's not the end of the world."

Cue her telling him to get lost. He braces himself.

Except she doesn't. "I know," she says softly. They're quiet for a moment. "It's just that, since losing Tori, and Tristan, and you—"

"You didn't lose me," he says. "I'm right here."

"But I did! I lost what we used to have. I just want things to go back to how they were before."

The words spill out before he has time to think. "Well, I don't."

"How can you say that?" She's glaring at him.

"I'd rather be honest, than pretend everything's fine when it's not."

"You mean you'd rather be miserable."

"I'm not—" he says, but something stops him. He studies her carefully. "Are you?"

"No," she says automatically.

He can always tell when she's lying. "Okay."

"Things are just… different. That's all."

"Well… yeah." He doesn't know what else to say. He's sick of having this same conversation.

He hates the relief he feels when the bell rings, and the way they both all-too-eagerly jump up to escape each other's company.

The team loses, as it turns out. Three days later, Zig glimpses Cam and Maya in the hallway, holding hands. It takes him a moment to realize he's staring, and he has to force himself to look away.

The worst part is she doesn't even notice.

\--

Zig resolves to move on. But like all resolutions, it's not easy to keep.

He spends more time with his friends at the skate park after school. He spends more time at the convenience store, relieving his mom of the dreaded evening shift on more than one occasion. He even spends more time on his geometry homework.

Any distraction is a welcome one.

But it doesn't take long for Maya to crop up again. She always does.

He's so focused on his comic book that he doesn't see her at first, towering above him with arms crossed.

"Can I help you?" His voice is dripping with sarcasm, which he instantly regrets when he sees Maya's face. Her eyes are bloodshot and she looks exhausted.

She sits beside him wordlessly. And then she starts to sob.

Instinctively, Zig pulls her close. Her body trembles in his arms.

"What happened?" he whispers.

She doesn't answer, and he's not sure if it's because she didn't hear him, or she doesn't want to. Either way, he keeps silent. Eventually her sobbing subsides and he releases her from his grasp.

"I screwed up," she says softly. She tries to force a smile, but her eyes betray her.

A knot forms in Zig's chest. Suddenly, he knows exactly what she's going to say, and he can't help but be angry at her. In fact, he's pissed. So what? So she and Cam broke up? So he's supposed to comfort her? He's sick of playing this game. He contemplates walking away from her, just so she could know how it feels. She never should have found him here in the first place. If Damon didn't have detention, he never would have been hanging around outside school waiting for him. Zig makes a mental note to ream out his friend later.

"Do you remember this bench?" she asks, interrupting his thoughts. Zig shakes his head. "I waited for you here, a few days after we met. I convinced myself you were going to ask me out. I was so excited. And then I saw you..."

"Tori and I had just gotten back together," he says, remembering. His anger is instantly replaced by guilt. He had walked away from her that day.

"I wanted you for so long," Maya adds. "But Tori was my friend, and you guys were good together. And then I met Cam."

He shifts uncomfortably. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. Forget it."

He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I can't change what happened, Maya. But it happened. And I'm sorry I hurt you back then, but you hurt me too."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry, too." She takes a deep breath, and then blurts out, "Cam and I broke up."

"Oh," Zig says flatly. He can't think of anything better to say. "That sucks."

He can tell by her face that it's not the reaction she wanted. She stands up abruptly. "This was a mistake."

She walks away and he says nothing.

It always ends the same way.

\--

He decides to avoid her for the rest of the week, even if it means skipping band practice. But that turns out to be impossible when he finds her waiting beside his locker the next morning.

"I don't understand you," she spits out when he's close enough to hear. "I thought you'd be thrilled that I broke up with Cam. And instead you just… sat there."

"You thought I'd be happy that you were so upset?" He focuses on turning his combination lock, refusing to make eye contact.

"I—" she stops herself, seeming flustered. "What exactly do you want?"

Zig closes his locker, more forcefully than he intended. He looks at her. "You know what I want. I've told you a hundred times."

She opens her mouth as if to say something, and then appears to think the better of it.

"What do _you_ want?" Zig presses.

"I don't know," she says softly.

It's the worst answer she could give. They both know it.

"Right," he says. "That's the problem."

He turns to leave, but she grabs his arm. "Zig, please."

He waits.

"It's just… this isn't easy. Tori and Tristan started talking to me again… I don't want to hurt them."

"But we already did! Don't you see that?"

"I know." There's another long silence.

"We can't blame ourselves forever," Zig says seriously. He remembers something his dad said to him once. "There's nothing heroic about being a martyr."

She appears taken aback by the statement. "It's… it's more complicated than that."

"No, it isn't!" he insists. "What do you _want_?"

"I want to be with you!" she nearly shouts. A few heads turn.

They stare at each other, unblinking. All cards on the table. Game over.

Zig grins.

"You doofus," she adds in a softer tone, clearly fighting a smile.

The bell rings, and neither one of them moves. "I'll walk you to class," Zig says, taking her hand in his.

"I don't think I'll be able to concentrate," Maya admits, squeezing his fingers.

"Probably not," he agrees.

"We could skip," she says suddenly. "Go see a movie or something. And… you know…"

"Maya Matlin, what are you suggesting? Are you blushing?"

"Shut up."

"Tempting, but I'm really looking forward to math. I think I finally got a handle on this whole slope thing." Maya stares at him, aghast. "And I don't want to rush this," he adds sincerely, reaching over to tuck a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear.

She blushes harder. "Okay."

"But we should do something later. Let's meet after school."

"Sure. Where do you want to meet?"

Zig thinks of the bench and smiles. "You'll know where to find me."

And she does.


End file.
